Preventing Disputes

Conflict, it seems, is everywhere. We humans are a fickle bunch and we tend to hold differences of opinion about all manner of topics. This is fine, great in fact, when people listen to those differences of opinion with respect, courtesty and an open-mind. Unfortunately, this does not always occur and that's when conflict break out.

Experience has shown me that being mindful of how one communicates is particularly helpful in reducing the likelihood of a dispute occurring. It seems the National Alternative Dispute Resolution Advisory Council (NADRAC) of Australia agrees as they have outlined some tips to keep in mind when communicating with others to prevent differences of opinion or a conflict. NADRAC suggests to:

LISTEN:

• for what you have in common with the other party. This is a good place for you and the other people involved to start looking for an outcome
• for what the other party needs or is concerned about. Respond reasonably to what they are saying
• check with the other party involved to make sure you have understood them.

ASK QUESTIONS:

• that start with 'How can we ...' or 'What possibilities are there for ...'
• to try to find out what is important to the other party involved. For example, you may ask 'Why is that important to you?'
• about how the other party would like to move forward.

RESPOND:

• after listening well
• using 'I think', 'I'd prefer', or 'I wonder whether' as opposed to 'I want' or 'I have decided'
• by making suggestions for an outcome that meets the other party's needs and that you can accept
• by speaking for yourself only.

AVOID

• reacting to demands or threats
• asking questions that accuse, such as 'If that's the case, why did you tell me that ...'
• saying 'You did ...' or 'You are ...' as this can been seen as blaming
• saying 'Obviously'
• making assumptions about what the other party has said. Always check your understanding to ensure it is correct. 

To visit NADRAC's website, click here.