Mediation – opening and welcoming by the mediator

The mediator’s opening statement sets the tone for the mediation and helps the mediator develop a rapport with the parties. The mediator needs the parties to develop a confidence in the process, and in them as a mediator, otherwise they may as well all shut up shop and go home now. If a mediator struggles to gain the confidence of the parties that they are a capable person to mediate their dispute then it can be hard to reach a resolution, unless the parties are feeling particularly amicable (one can dream!).

The way that the mediator conducts the opening and welcome will of course vary with mediator style and personal preference. This is a good thing because this variation will mean that the mediator is explaining the process and setting the tone for the session in a manner that they will feel comfortable with and that in turn, will help the parties to feel more comfortable. One thing that is important though, regardless of personal style, is that both parties should feel that the mediator has a balanced approach. The mediator can easily achieve this by sharing their body language and eye contact evenly between the parties.

So what actually should be included in the mediator’s opening statement? The list below outlines the basics that are generally covered in the welcoming by the mediator.

·       Welcome and introductions including how people want to be addressed (Dr Roberts? Madame Mouse?)

·       Explain the role of the mediator including that they do not have a role in deciding the outcome

·       Explain the mediation process

·       Confirm the agreed timeframe for today’s session

·       Confirm the “Mediation Agreement” is understood and signed

·       Discuss confidentiality

·       Outline the guidelines of conduct

·       Remind the parties they are there to try to reach a resolution and obtain a commitment from all parties to begin

Mediation – the basics

The Australian National Mediator Approval Standards defines mediation as:

“a process in which the participants, with the support of a mediator, identify issues, develop options, consider alternatives and make decisions about future actions and outcomes. The mediator acts as a third party to support participants to reach their own decision.”

The mediator may assist the participants to:

·       communicate with each other

·       identify, clarify and explore disputed issues

·       generate and evaluate options

·       consider alternative processes for bringing any dispute or conflict to a conclusion

·       reach an agreement or make a decision about how to move forward and/or enhance their communication in a way that addresses participants’ mutual needs with respect to their individual interests based upon the principle of self determination.

There are a number of different models of mediation. However, the process of mediation usually looks something like:

1.     Opening & welcome by the mediator

2.     Opening comments from the parties

3.     Mediator reflects on the parties’ comments and identifies the issues

4.     The issues are explored in detail

5.     Private sessions (discussions between be the mediator and each party privately)

6.     Negotiation

7.     Private sessions

8.     Closure

This process can vary depending on mediator style and the willingness of the parties to remain in a group forum to explore the issues. Steps 5, 6 and 7 can be repeated multiple times depending on the vigour with which the parties are negotiating!

A few other points to note in relation to mediator conduct ….

Mediators:

·       are impartial

·       manage the process

·       facilitate communication

·       help the parties to hear and understand each other

·       assist parties to evaluate alternatives and options

Mediators do not:

·       give advice

·       determine the solution

Tips for difficult telephone discussions

At one point or another, all of us have had to have a difficult telephone discussion. Those that work in the complaint handling realm are likely to have these discussions on a daily, if not hourly basis. So what are some tips to help make those difficult discussions as easy as possible? Well, as seems to be a continuing theme on this blog, planning and preparation are key. If you practice what you intend to say and make bullet points of the key points, this will help you to stay focused and keep the discussion on track if things become a bit heated.

Remaining calm and staying patient are also key to the success of the discussion. Where possible try to distance yourself and your emotions from the subject. In the case of complaint handling, the person delivering the bad news is usually the independent complaint handler so ditch feeling guilty when you have to deliver bad news – a review has been completed and an outcome found. If due process has been followed there is no need to feel guilty about the outcome.

Another hot tip is to check what the other person has heard. While you may think that you have delivered a beautifully phrased outcome, the other party may have misinterpreted what you have said. Checking for understanding is an often over-looked but very important step in handling difficult telephone discussions.

Some more tips for your review ….

Tips for difficult telephone discussions

·         Prepare for the discussion

·         Make some bullet points of what you want to achieve in the discussion and keep it nearby

·         Do a quick relaxation technique before you start

·         Be polite and patient

·         Breathe

·         Employ the broken record technique – keep saying what they are not hearing until they do

·         Check for understanding (e.g. What is your understanding of what I’ve just said?)

·         Collaborate (e.g Do you have any suggestions as to how this could work?)

·        If the discussion becomes abusive or threatening, ask them to desist, come back to the point and try again

·         If the abuse continues, end the call politely and calmly with an offer to try again later

·         Debrief with a friend/ colleague or superior.